If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
(Mark 8:34).
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…
(Romans 12:6).
I have been playing guitar for 19 years now. I will never for get the first day of my guitar lessons. My teacher told me “All the other guitar teachers like to teach you theory and all the other boring stuff. But I like to teach the good stuff.” I went home that day having learned three power chords (E5,A5,D5). My teacher didn’t want to teach me to be a musician, he wanted me to be a rock star. At the age of 12, I was liking the sound of this. Within no time I was playing AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Ozzy, etc. I wasn’t taught much about chords, scales, etc. Just power chords. Hours upon hours went into my practicing. I would practice at least an hour on weeknights, three hours on Saturday nights, and throughout the day on Sunday. I won’t even mention how much I played during the summer. By the age of 18 I was playing in bands as the rhythm/lead guitarist and main vocalist, as well as the main songwriter. I was a rock star alright…in my own little world.
Although I heard praise and awe back in the day over my playing, I never liked it. As a matter of fact, still at this time, I do not like to be praised. It’s not that I don’t feel worthy, it’s because I am humble. It’s always been my nature. But it has become increasing in my walk with Christ. I once wanted to be a superstar, now I just want to serve Him and be a family man for Him. I once wanted a mansion, now I am content in our little rental home. I once wanted elite cars, the minivan suits me fine. I am content with what I have and what I do for a living because it is here that God has placed me. Many people want me to leave my job, uproot my family, and go somewhere else. But God has me here for a reason. It is His purpose that I am here at this time. Not I, but Christ.
Anyway, onward to the guitar story! Around two weeks ago a friend of mine, Mark’s, mother passed away unexpectedly. Out of the blue, she told him that she would like for another friend of mine, Erik, and I to perform at her funeral. She then passed the next day. Back in October of last year we invited Erik and his family, and Mark and his family (with Bernice, his mother) to our home for worship and music. Erik, a former music teacher, did most of the music. Bernice never told us what she thought about it. But after her death we found out that she greatly enjoyed it and the music. So that is how we ended up being asked to perform hymns at her funeral.
“It Is Well”, “In The Garden”, and a mystery third song (later chosen to be “Amazing Grace”) were the selected songs. I knew none of these. Erik, because of his musical know how, obviously did. I knew nothing. If she would have asked for some AC/DC or Metallica, then I could have done the deed. Because I was trained to be a rock star, not a musician. I was panicking. I only had a few days to go from only knowing power chords to knowing hymns. I was determined not to give in and ask Erik go at it alone, because she requested BOTH of us. I wanted to honor her last wish.
So just three days before the service, I went out and bought a hymn book. I was already upset at this time because I realized after 19 years of playing guitar, I didn’t really know how to play guitar (or read sheet music). I spent hours mulling over these songs, trying to learn them in an impressive manner. “Oooh! They’ll like this!”, “Now that sounds awesome.” I would think to myself. But then I would observe what I was doing, and thought it stank. It just wasn’t right. The “rock star” in me was trying to sound like a rock star, and it was flopping like a fish out of water. After 19 years of having rock star poison in my veins, I didn’t know any other way. So I determined I was just going to settle for strumming the chords, and after her funeral I was going to quit playing guitar forever. I was done.
Less than 12 hours before the funeral Erik and his wife came over (they live 2 hours away, so they couldn’t come until the night before). We rehearsed…and then “magic” happened. Actually, I think Jesus was the extra man “in the fire” that night. I was so excited that I tossed and turned all night. We played the funeral, and a new creature was born in me. The rock star in me was denied and died. Now I am a hymn addict. All I want to do is play and learn hymns and glorify God, even if it just means strumming simple chords. The glory is in the words, not my guitar. Thank you Bernice for setting this up and rekindling the fire in my heart and talent. God took that fire and redirected it for Him.
The moral of the story is that we should not boast of ourselves and our desires, but allow God to lead and serve Him. My desire of being a showoff rock star stood in the way of my ability to glorify God with music. What I thought was required of me based on what I thought was important (showing off my talent) dwarfed what God wanted of me. We need to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. Step aside and let Him steer. It is not about us, but Christ. All the flashy talents and skills, smoke, mirrors, lights, and lasers means nothing to Him. Humble simplicity works best for His glory. Most guitarists with talent would call putting away all the flashy skills for simple chord strumming a demotion. I call it a promotion, because I have been called to play for Christ.
Love In Christ!
P.S. Just to clarify, I haven't listened to secular music in years. God bless!!!
